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Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers-Karyl McBride

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From experienced family therapist Dr. Karyl McBride, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is an essential guide to recovery for women with selfish, emotionally abusive, and toxic mothers—designed to help daughters reclaim their lives.The first book for daughters who have suffered the abuse of narcissistic, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life. Drawing on more than two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women’s health and hundreds of interviews with suffering daughters, Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the widespread effects of this emotional abuse and create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery. Narcissistic mothers teach their daughters that love is not unconditional, that it is given only when they behave in accordance with maternal expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters have difficulty overcoming feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, emotional emptiness, and sadness. They may also have a fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy romantic relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism or to self-sabotage and frustration. Dr. McBride’s step-by-step program will enable you to: (1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life (2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into overachievement or self-sabotage (3) Construct a personalized program to take control of your life and enhance your sense of self, establishing healthy boundaries with your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse Warm and sympathetic, Dr. McBride brings a profound level of authority to Will I Ever Be Good Enough? that encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery.

Book Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Review :



In the intro to this book, the author insists that victims must love and forgive their abusive mothers. We can't blame abusive mothers for their abusive behavior--we must be accepting and understanding. There's this looming sense of condescension for the reader who hasn't yet reached this emotional high ground. The woman who wrote this is a therapist--and that's what makes this attitude all the more irresponsible. I felt fully invalidated before I could begin the first chapter. She speaks of "recovery" as though there is some magical point in which you are fully healed from abuse, if only you put in the hard work like she did. I picked up this book for insights on high-achieving daughters of narcissistic mothers. The topic is literally the name of the book. Yet there are only 12 pages on the subject, and the overachiever persona is condescendingly named "Mary Marvel." Anyone who's already made the connection between their drive for success and childhood abuse is not going to find any revelations in this chapter. The concept of going no-contact gets one page, and the suggestion is that this is not necessarily helpful in healing. It guilts the reader into maintaining contact--a situation that can exacerbate any emotional progress and may be completely unrealistic for emotional health. Setting boundaries that mom will respect? Easy-peasy! The author makes it sound as though narcissists have the capacity to respect the daughters they abused and give weight to logic and facts. She suggests that victims may misinterpret generational differences as abuse. And that all of these problems are so easily solved with empathy and understanding--traits that narcissists do not possess. And then... nearly at the very end... she finally says you should only forgive when the perpetrator makes themselves accountable. Something that no narcissist would ever do. So basically it's a whole lot of victim-blaming, then ultimately it confesses that everything you need to do to "heal" is impossible. The final chapter basically advises you not to abuse your own children. Cool. There's also a whole section that lists films that portray narcissistic abuse--in case you want to relive your trauma over and over. I wish I could give this less than one star. Even the quality of the paper is low. Save your money.
For so long I never understood why I felt like I wasn't good enough. Barely minutes after picking up this book after yet another Thanksgiving/Christmas ruined by my mother, I do. I skimmed it in B&N and I'm reading it again in detail and it's changing my life. At 30 I'm finally able to figure out why I feel like I'm underserving of anything whether it being a relationship or career success despite being a consistent over achiever for my entire life. I felt guilty for even thinking my mother is a maternal narcissist because she's done so much for me. But now I know that she's an engulfing maternal narcissist.I like that punishing narcissistic mothers isn't a theme in this book. If readers don't want to, or don't feel that they can have a relationship with their mother then that's their prerogative but that isn't the objective. It's to identify, come to terms with things and heal so you can live a better life and break the cycle.

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